Pure Unadulterated Grounded Presence, Front and Centre, Here Now, Showing Up Fully and Vulnerably as The Awesome Perfectly Imperfectly Human, Being Unapologetically YOU. (That is Max Well Smart ... Hey Chief....!)
Quote for the day
"Meditation means the mind is turned back upon itself. The mind stops all the thought-waves and the world stops. Your consciousness expands. Every time you meditate, you will keep your growth."
Yoga Teacher Vivekananda
Vedanta, I Am...
Community Psychologist
WHY THE CHILD/PARENT RELATIONSHIP SHAPES OUR FUTURE LIFE EXPERIENCE:
1. Our adult romantic partners are reflections of our earliest childhood attachments with parent figures
2. Ideally, our parents gave us secure attachments. Secure attachments means we could predict their behaviour, we could depend on them to meet our needs (most of the time) and could rely on them to soothe us when we felt scared, confused, or stressed. Secure attachment in childhood results in flexibility, open-mindedness, trust (for self and other) and high self worth.
3. Insecure attachments means our parents were unpredictable, chaotic, fearful, shut down, or unavailable to meet our needs and help us regulate our emotions.
2. Ideally, our parents gave us secure attachments. Secure attachments means we could predict their behaviour, we could depend on them to meet our needs (most of the time) and could rely on them to soothe us when we felt scared, confused, or stressed. Secure attachment in childhood results in flexibility, open-mindedness, trust (for self and other) and high self worth.
3. Insecure attachments means our parents were unpredictable, chaotic, fearful, shut down, or unavailable to meet our needs and help us regulate our emotions.
Insecure attachments in childhood results in adult relationships that also unpredictable, don’t meet our needs and leave us feeling unworthy or like we just perform for love.
4. Insecure attachments with parent figures can cause us to be physically addicted to another person, all consumed by them and anxious when they are away from us. Or, cause us to avoid intimacy (as a protection mechanism) all together.
5. Boundaries are key in healthy relationships.
4. Insecure attachments with parent figures can cause us to be physically addicted to another person, all consumed by them and anxious when they are away from us. Or, cause us to avoid intimacy (as a protection mechanism) all together.
5. Boundaries are key in healthy relationships.
If our parents didn’t have boundaries (spoke badly about another parent, invaded our privacy, had us be a source of their own emotional support—ex: ‘you’re the little man of the house’) we will struggle with having our own boundaries or honouring the boundaries of another person in a relationship.
6. When we learn that our parents cannot meet our needs, we often become “needy” in adult relationships. This is an attempt to get these unmet needs met. Ironically, this can place pressure on both partners and cause both to resist connection.
7. If our childhood was inconsistent, we can be less forgiving and more critical with our partners. We can also be controlling due to deep fear of abandonment.
8. We often unconsciously seek partners that have the same traits as the parent we had the most conflicted relationship with in an attempt to repair that core wound.
10. “Chemistry” or physical attraction can be high in relationships where the other person activates our core childhood wounding. We might find stable partners boring
6. When we learn that our parents cannot meet our needs, we often become “needy” in adult relationships. This is an attempt to get these unmet needs met. Ironically, this can place pressure on both partners and cause both to resist connection.
7. If our childhood was inconsistent, we can be less forgiving and more critical with our partners. We can also be controlling due to deep fear of abandonment.
8. We often unconsciously seek partners that have the same traits as the parent we had the most conflicted relationship with in an attempt to repair that core wound.
10. “Chemistry” or physical attraction can be high in relationships where the other person activates our core childhood wounding. We might find stable partners boring
Be Max Well Smart. Be 99 or 86 or Chief
In Control vs KAOS
Pure Freakin' Genius
Thank You Mel Blanc ~ writer extraordinaire
(No rotten apple wrist phones, I sooo want an old skool shoe phone...)
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